what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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