I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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