nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
