giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
