Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
