Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
