I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize