He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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