Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
