He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
