I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
