Say something about gay babies.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
