When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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