i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
