my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize