she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
