Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
