Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize