wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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