after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
