haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize