whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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