Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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