I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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