i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize