he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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