I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
