Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
