I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
