i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize