My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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