dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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