How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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