The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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