my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
