RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
worst night to have a conscience
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
