There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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