so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
