The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
