Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't turn off my feet"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
