I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
