I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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