is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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