you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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