You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
