It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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