There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
