I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
