i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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