i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
