I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
