he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
