Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
