Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
