I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
