He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
