Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize