yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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