I'm really into asian looking animals
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
