Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
