Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
