Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
