Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
