can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize