So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
